Ballad's Guilt Part two
by Balladisabitch
Summary: Even out there. Even in here. Trauma surrounds me.


"It's all your fault."

"You left me here..."

"You are the reason she's gone..."

"It's all your fault."

"You left me here to..."

"ROT."

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"

Ballad woke up screaming.

Morning arrived.

She had a major headache. Her gums were even bleeding from biting too hard in her own sleep. Ballad saw the timer on her phone buzzing, reminding her to take her morning medicines.

She turned around and grabbed the case of pills. Ballad opened one of the slots and poured the pills into her hand. Just staring at them.

"why..." a voice asked.

Ballad's eyes widened in fear.

"w-what...?!" Ballad turned around, stuttering.

It was HER.

"why did you let me die? I thought you loved me..." SHE spoke.

Ballad's mouth was opened in shock and her eyes were wide opened in fear.

"why did you do this?" SHE asked sadly.

"NO!" Ballad screamed.

A loud knock on her door was heard, entering the room was Ballad's sister, asking her if she was alright and what she was screaming at. Ballad, having to find an excuse, lied to her sister saying that she was yelling at her phone for messing up on her.

Ballad was almost in tears. She saw that she had gotten a text from one of her cousins.

They texted for a while up until Ballad mentioned these flashbacks and panic attacks she was having from THEM.

"It wasn't your fault. You were being bullied and the stress sent you to the hospital. You had no choice. If you ask me, I would've done the same thing and I really don't blame you." her cousin tried comforting.

"I know... but it was selfish to leave him like that... I never said goodbye. I never told him... and recently my" Ballad stopped texting and just ended up breaking into tears.

"Are you still there?" her cousin texted.

"Yeah. I just forgot what I was going to say." Ballad texted back.

"Look. None of it was your fault. There's nothing you could've done to stop all of this from happening. It was THEIR fault, not yours." her cousin continued.

After an hour of texting. Ballad stopped and suddenly began to break down. Ballad had texted her grandmother. Telling her grandmother that she had been thinking about HER again and told her grandmother that somehow, it was all her fault.

"No, it wasn't your fault, it was no one's. We didn't know that was going to happen. None of it was your fault." Ballad's grandma texted.

Ballad, not believing the words her own loving grandma and cousin texted her, began to cry.

After a while of texting... Ballad still felt guilty and responsible for the cause.

"I'm so sorry... please... I'm so so sorry... please..." Ballad cried over and over again.

"Liar..." a voice said.

Ballad turned and saw HIM.

"Liar. You're lying." HE repeated.

"N-no... p-please..." Ballad begged.

"You lied to me... you lied to..." HE stopped speaking as SHE and a bunch of different hallucinations and flashbacks suddenly appeared before Ballad.

"ALL OF US!" The voices of many screamed.

All of them were yelling and telling Ballad how she was a liar and murderer.

Ballad screamed.

"NO! SHUT UP!" tears ran down her face.

She changed her clothes and ran outside. She passed the park near her home and decided to go further, to the next park, just another block down.

Ballad sighed, walking slowly, hands in pockets. She just didn't know what to do anymore. While walking on the sidewalk, Ballad noticed something. She saw a raccoon, eating something. Was it garbage? Perhaps some fruit that fell off a tree? Ballad smiled at it and walked closer to it, slowly. As the raccoon spotted her, it ran off. Ballad watching it run away. She sighed and put her head down. She saw it. She saw what the raccoon was eating. It was a dead bird.

Ballad began to shake.

Her mind replaced the dead bird with the image of her dead relative instead. Ballad couldn't move. A bunch of flashbacks played in her head, as she was looking at the dead body of her relative.

"LIAR! LIAR!"

"MURDERER! MURDERER!"

"KILLER! KILLER!"

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"

Ballad began to cry as she fell on her knees and covered her ears.

"no... please..." Ballad begged.

A hand placed itself on Ballad's shoulder. Ballad looked over. It was none only but HIM again.

"YOU LEFT ME TO DIE." HE yelled.

"NO! NO! IT WASN'T MY FAULT! IT WASN'T! I AM NO MURDERER! NO LIAR! LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE! ALL OF YOU!" Ballad screamed angrily.

Everything stopped and everything went back to normal.

She looked at the dead bird, seeing it was no longer her relative, as slowly stood up and walked away from it.

She finally made it to the second park. There, was a basketball court, with a bench. No one was there.

"Oh thank goodness..." Ballad sighed.

She made it to the bench and sat down, the trees shading her. She was at the very edge of falling asleep until...

"What are you doing out here? THIS far?" the girl asked. It wasn't the hallucination of Ballad's relative. It was the same girl who talked to Ballad while she was smoking.

"I'm... just taking a break..." Ballad sighed, giving a careless expression.

"A break from what...?" The girl asked.

"Every thing..." Ballad replied slowly.

"Did you bring it with you?" The girl asked.

Ballad's eyes immediatley opened. She didn't speak. She put her hand in her pocket... and pulled out...

the box cutter...

Everything around her was dead silent now.

A bunch of small whispers began to surround her.

"You know you want to..." The girl said very blood thirsty like.

Ballad began to feel sick to her stomach.

A bunch of people suddenly surrounded her. Laughing. Some, whispering, others telling her to "do it".

Ballad shook.

"NO!" Ballad said sternly.

"Why do you even try?" It was HIM.

Ballad couldn't believe what was happening.

"Face it... no matter how hard you try... I'll never go away... no matter how hard you medicate yourself... I'll never die..." IT spoke.

Ballad was looking every where... it was nothing but hallucinations surrounding her.

"MURDERER!"

"ABUSER!"

"LIAR!"

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"YOU LEFT US HERE TO ROT!"

Ballad was about to piss herself as she looked down at the box cutter.

The voices changed.

"DO IT..."

"DO IT..."

"DO IT..."

They all chanted. Over and over again.

Ballad made a blood curling scream, almost as if she wear being murdered.

"Are you okay?!" the voice of a guy and a whole group of his friends appeared out of no where.

"Are you hurt or something?" one of the asked.

Ballad turned to them, tears, sweat and mucus running down her face.

"yes... I'm fine." Ballad replied with shakiness in her voice.

"You don't look fine." one of the guys said.

Ballad had to come up with some shitty excuse to convince the group that she was "ok" so that they would leave her alone. She lied saying that she fell on the concrete and scrapped her knee, causing her to scream. The gang, of course, fell for it, leaving her alone and walking away. She immediately ran away into another area. This area was filled with trees. She decided to lay down on the grass. Still feeling awful. Feeling like an object. Feeling sad. Feeling like she was only good for one thing in life. She fell asleep.

It was dark. Darker than ever.  
It was silent... but... yet it wasn't. There were omnious sounds surrounding the place. Then suddenly... a piano had played some random notes. Each note giving out some sort of message of despair. It was very cold and very hard to breathe. The darkness suddenly turned into redness, with nothing but a bunch red of faces laughing and taunting blending within the redness.

Ballad looked at all of them, in fear. Suddenly she saw the box cutter fall right in front of her.

"DO IT" The voice of the girl said.

As soon as Ballad picked up the box cutter, she saw...

HER. Standing there, only seeing her back view.

"Why..." SHE whispered.

Ballad slowly walked up to her, one arm reaching out, the other holding the box cutter.

"Why... did..." SHE continued to whisper, however she was slowly turning around to face Ballad.

"I..." Ballad could hardly speak.

"Why... did... you... let... me..." SHE slowly turned around.

"DIIIIEEEEE?!" SHE screamed as her face was nothing but a skeleton without eyes.

There were screams every where.

"I!" Ballad was cut off.

"I... DIDN'T WANT TO DIE... WHY DID YOU DO THIS?! WHY?! I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU!" SHE screamed.

Ballad ended up crying and screaming and began to run away.

"I... LOVED... YOU..." SHE screamed.

Ballad woke up screaming, in a panic. It was raining. She was soaked and started sneezing.

She began to scream.

"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! YOU MUST UNDERSTAND! I'M SO SO SORRY!" Ballad screamed while crying over and over.

She got up and started running away, the tears dripping down her face.

She made it back home. All wet, soaked, with some mud. Her sisters asked her what was wrong, instead of answering, Ballad ran to the bathroom to take a shower. Ballad's face began to burn.

"I love you too..." Ballad said.


End file.
